Funny Status

Today is the day of new age social medias. Whatsapp and facebook are now an integral part of our life. Personally I can’t even think of a day without these apps. We keep in touch with friends get to know what they are upto, enjoy funny videos all through these apps. Also these platforms are a great way to express ourselves. Status messages being the best way for this. We feel that everyone should have access to the best of the quotes that can reflect our mood/attitude.

Life is boring without fun. For all those funny minds out there, here are few funny quotes.

 

The human body is 70% water. So we are basically cucumbers with anxiety.

 

I Hate my MOOD, they never ask my permission before they change.

 

Marriage is a workshop….. where Husband works and wife shops.

 

Nobody move, I just lost my mind.

 

I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’am thinking of making few more.

 

Life is too short, don’t waste it reading my status.

 

I am not lazy. I am just on my energy saving mode.

 

True friends don’t judge each other. They judge other people together.

 

80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest have brain.

 

All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.

 

Please GOD, if you can’t make me slim, make my friends fat.

 

Status unavailable. Please retry after sometime.

 

I love my job, only when I am on vacation.

 

Someone on his whatsapp status is “Sleeping” since 4 days. He’s probably dead.

 

I have a date tonight with my bed. We are totally  gonna sleep together.

 

I don’t believe in ghosts, only during day time.

 

When I was born, I was so surprised – I didn’t talk for a year and a half.

 

If people are talking behind your back, then just FART.

 

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough.

 

Having one child makes you a parent. Having 2 makes you a referee.

 

I am not crazy, my reality is just different then yours.

 

I will marry a girl, who looks pretty in her Aadhar card.

 

How to confirm you are in love? Just ask yourself this question – Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person.

 

I did not get drunk. I just got awesome.

 

I don’t always get asked for a data, but when I do, its April 1st.

 

Procrastination is the art of keeping with yesterday.

 

With great power comes great electricity bill.

 

Hey there, Are you using whatsapp?

 

I can…. but I won’t.

 

I am just one step away from being rich, All I need is money.

 

I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would be just proud of me.

 

Maybe if I tell brain is an app – people might start using it.

 

The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay safe, eat cake.

 

An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you through it hard enough.

 

I would like to thank my middle finger for always being there sticking up for me for all those times I needed the most.

 

When life shuts a door open it again. Its a door – that’s how they work.

 

Unless your name is GOOGLE, please stop acting as if you know everything.

 

I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

 

Relationships are a lot like algebra… I always look at my X and wonders Y.

 

I think my guardian angel drinks.

 

Some people just need a high-five… in the face with a chair.

 

I am currently supervised. I know it scares me too, but the possibilities are endless.